Will I ever hear the sound of someone calling me momma? It seems today like it will never happen. This is true life torture. If I can't grow a
uterus then there is no way it will ever happen.
Today's lining check didn't go well - again. I don't know what is going on. I have incredible endo pains today.
I did drink this weekend because it was my birthday but no more. Not one single drop. It just goes to show me that I have to be perfect to
make this work - it seems like all I can do is be perfect. What else can I change? I've changed so much. I'll do daily yoga, no drinking, no carbs,
Pom juice no stress.
It is so not fair.
I've spent the past few days researching adoption. I've been engulfed in listening to podcasts from Adoption Now and I met with a woman from my Houston IVF support group. She adopted within 2 months from Adoption Alliance and has a 16 month old son. She broke down a lot of the barriers I thought were on our way: 1. She is loving here on visas and doesn't have her green card 2. They agency was not adamant about her being done with her Ivf journey 3. It only took her 2 months to get chosen by her birth mom. Yesterday after listening to some very heartbreaking stories I was really not sure I could go through with the whole process. All of the people on the podcast said it is not for the faint of heart, it's the toughest thing you'll ever go through, it is a war and a battle like no other. Frankly I'm not sure my heart can take more heartache. But after telling Mike about this fears he is still very much on this adoption train. He just wants to be a dad alrea...
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