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The Journey Begins

I figured I'd start this blog to diarize my journey into single motherhood. I'd been struggling with the idea of wanting to be a mother for a few years. All of my friends were having babies and I did a really good job at compartamentalizing my true feelings about it. In other words I shoved them waaaay deep down so they couldn't surface for fear that I would open a pandora's box of emotions I wasn't ready to deal with. So I put them under lock and key. It wasn't until my nephew Aidan was born in November 2011. For some reason he unlocked the flood gates of my dream of wanting to be a mother. So shortly after his birth I gave myself a deadline - I'd decide if I wanted to go it alone by my 35th birthday. Which is 5 months down the road.

I'd spent the previous 4 years getting over my divorce and trying to find "Mr. Right" only to continue to put unrealistic pressures on each relationship because what I really wanted was a family - not necessarily the whole husband and marriage thing. None of them worked out - obviously - and so I took the words of Dr. Phil on the whole relationship search thing... "how's that workin' for ya?" Not good! So I'm going to move on and make my dreams come true. I am the co-creator of my life with the universe and I am taking matters into my own hands.

So here I am today what the SMC www.http://www.singlemothersbychoice.org/ folk categorize as "Thinking". And I will share the journey here.
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